asylum-initiation:

Once I was in a chat room & a guy had joined. He instantly started talking about how death was something natural & that he’d gladly murder anyone. He even told us a story that he killed a hobo playing his trumpet in the subway so that he didn’t have to suffer being poor. My friend who was a mod & very religious got pissed & banned him the group, basically he can never join again.

I was extremely intrigued by him so I decided to pm (personal message) him. I asked him if what he said was true & he swore it was. I asked his name yet I can’t remember but let’s just call him Tom. Tom told me he was in his early 20s & that he was in the military. He told me the horrors of war & how he changed into a killing machine. He was very aware of the homicidal maniac he was & I was never more interested in someone than him.

He asked me, “Do you feel real?” & knowing in a sense what he meant still asked him what he was talking about. His response; “Like everyone is so fake that you can’t help but feel fake yourself.” I answered that I did & he asked me how I coped with it. I had no idea what to say. I didn’t cope, I didn’t know how to so I was stuck wondering what to say. After several minutes he replied to my nothingness with “Can I tell you how I coped?” “Sure,” I told him. What he said was really creepy but wow this man had to be insane.

“I took my sharpest pair of scissors & plunged them into my wrist. Right where all the veins intersected. It hurt but it was so relieving to be real again. To be me.”

I never talked to him again.

(Source: you1anna)